taking some damage

[elderwitty]

I have yet another ree-DONK-u-lous, me-only injury to report.

BACKGROUND:
At work, there's a women's bathroom on each floor, and each has three stalls. This is about the 6th floor.

Last week, the first stall was closed due to water on the floor, even though it has a drain (?). Either the toilet is leaking or the ceiling is. No problem, there are two others.

Yesterday, I went in and the third stall was in use. Okay, I'll use the middle stall - though the door is so oversized that you have to basically straddle the stool to close it. Enter, straddle, close. Realize there's now standing water in *this* stall, too. Fuck that! Went off to a different floor where I don't have to hold my pants up while I pull them down.

TODAY:
Forgot about the issue 'til I walked in and saw the first stall was open again. I wasn't even halfway through the thought, "Wow, they fixed that fast!" when I saw the piece of cardboard laid over the left sink (of two) with OUT OF ORDER on it. You have to laugh.

(No. You have to. That all has nothing to do with the injury - it's just funny.)

ANYWAY:
Go to third stall, check for paper. (I've been stranded before.) It's there, but the (industrial-sized) roll is on too tight or is too heavy, because pulling just leads to shredding. Reached in to push the roll around to free up enough to use, and ran the end of my finger into the edge of the opening.


Friends, I have a Toilet Paper Dispenser Cutter Tooth Gouge/Slice^TM!


It's on the tip of my little finger, RIGHT by where the fingernail leaves the nail bed. The bandaid had to be cut in half so the booboo got gauze on it instead of stickum. :D

Only I could manage to achieve such bizarre damage. ::shakes head and chuckles::

Comments

[squidgiepdx]

Professional me: Okay, triple antibiotic ointment and bandage. Change it a couple times a day. Keep it dry if you can. And when was your last tetanus shot?

ME me: ZOMG woman, how in the hell? Seriously? ::snerk::

[adafrog]

lolol OMG, ow, though.

taking some damage

[elderwitty]

Professional you: Check and check, check, check, and way less than ten years the last time I had a wacky event. Plus, the dispenser is plastic so tetanus seems unlikely. Although...

YOU you: It's a talent? At least we all get some laughs out of it.

taking some damage

[elderwitty]

Right?! I'm the champ of silly injuries. I have:

1) small divots in each shin from hopping out of a green waste dumpster after compacting tree branches, because I misjudged and midair calculations said to re-launch or risk shearing off my kneecaps. (mid-thirties)

2) hurt myself sweeping a walk-in cooler. The cap on the end of the metal haft had been removed and I took off a few layers of skin while clearing out under a shelf. (early thirties)

3) fallen over like a suddenly sleeping baby animal after putting an upholstery staple through my heel while running through the house (high school)

4) ripped a scab off my knee when a dangling thread from my quilted robe caught it and a cabinet knob. My mom allowed the high volume cussing I emitted, due to the circumstance. (7th or 8th grade)

5) fainted from the smell of Dep (a Dippity Do knockoff) while mom was trying to set pin curls into my baby fine hair. (around six)

6) been bitten by a copperhead while investigating what our dog was barking at for a VERY long time. I missed my cousin's wedding, but got to see Rollerball, which mom would never have allowed. (twelve)

7) fainted onto my sister's lap after a bike crash. She pushed me off onto the floor and complained to mom that I was 'trying to steal her chair' (ten or so)

8) a scar shaped like a smiley face on my shoulder, from a tree branch falling on me in college.


This is by no means a comprehensive list.

[superbadgirl]

If anyone asks, tell them it was a piranha attack.

Ouch, though, one of the worst places for a cut.

taking some damage

[elderwitty]

That's a great idea! Sadly, I've already spread the truth far and wide.

I will admit that it's in the exact spot that hit the 'Shift' button, and I'm not yet 100% accurate in my alternate method (curl finger and use the knuckle) yet, but It could be so much worse. What if I'd slipped and gotten it in the eyeball?! :D

Re: taking some damage

[adafrog]

lol OMG. {{{hugs}}}

Re: taking some damage

[elderwitty]

;D :D :D

All you can do is laugh, right? And, to be fair, that is over the course of 45+ years.

Thanks for the hugs!

[timespirt]

You know that they do that to the toilet paper rolls so you can't use much right...But I always endure and pull wads off even if it's one damn sheet at a time, I still get a big wad just to spite the cheap SOB's! LOL

A kiss for your booboo.

"HUGS"

taking some damage

[elderwitty]

My sister and I were just talking about that - and you have to manually unwind the paper around the roll to get enough to be worth it. It's maddening, especially when they use the cheap, cheap one ply that makes you need twice as much. Grrr.

Thanks for the restorative kiss. :D

Re: taking some damage

[timespirt]

My dad used to do bathroom stalls for a living and he has been remarking about how, not only are the stall papers getting skinnier but regular toilet paper is also getting like that. They are trying to downsize the rolls and think people can't tell the difference. We sure can...LOL

CHEAP SOB's

"HUGS"

Re: taking some damage

[elderwitty]

Well, why wouldn't they cheap it out? It's worked before: tuna fish, coffee, and yogurt used to have more in their [nearly identically-sized] containers than they do now. The fuckers.

::clings::

Re: taking some damage

[timespirt]

This is true. Ice cream used to be a gallon and potato chips used to be a lot bigger bags than they are now. LOL

"CLINGS" back