only intermittently obedient

squidgiepdx wrote: YES!!! We need to write more slashy crossovers. Can you imagine a VERY jealous McGarrett when Danno starts flirting with Lorne? ::grin::

and then this happened.



Title: Keeping a Hand In
Fandom: H50 & a smidge of SGA
Author: elderwitty
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: G
Words: 464
Warnings: none
Story Summary: Danny flirts


Steve tries to convince himself there's no need to worry, that Danno is just an inveterate flirt. He flirts like he rants - early and often.

He flirts with Sue, the waitress at their usual breakfast diner. She thinks he's adorable and always brings him a free pomegranate juice smoothie. He unrepentantly smirks at Steve while he slurps the last few drops as loudly as any eight-year-old.

He flirts with Caroline, single mother of Aiden, in the dropoff lane at Sacred Hearts. Now Aiden and Grace have playdates after school when Danny's held up at Five-O.

He flirts with the produce guy at Steve's favorite organic market. He flirts with the fishmonger and the cheese guy. He caps it off by flirting with the couple in front of them in the checkout line. He manages to get them both laughing and looking at him winsomely through their eyelashes. Steve doesn't get how he can flirt with both halves of a couple and not have it end in a jealousy-fueled free-for-all. He starting to think it's a sort of superpower. Or maybe hypnosis.

He flirts with Jake, the butcher at the farmers market who sells 'the only pastrami outside New Jersey worth eating'. (Steve still hasn't determined why a butcher is selling pastrami, but he doesn't want to mess with Danny's chi, so he hasn't asked. Yet.) Jake seems to get more enjoyment from watching Danny scarf down his humungous sandwiches than the flirting, but you can't be too careful. Steve's keeping an eye on him.

He flirts with Mama Koo at Liliha Bakery in hopes of convincing her to add Boston Creme coco puffs to the menu. No joy so far, but she laughs and pinches his cheek like a chubby toddler every time he tries ... and a happy baker is always a good thing, especially if you love malasadas like Danno does.

He once flirted with Damon over in Payroll, or tried to. Damon is so cynical about humanity in general, and cops in particular, that he thought Danny was trying to get him to leave some deductions off or something. (Danny still hasn't figured out why he got the cold fish-eye on that one.)

So, yeah - this Lorne guy is good-looking. Okay, it is exciting that he apparently works in outer space. And while it is true that the nearly-permanent crick in Danny's neck might fade away if he traded down to this shorter military model - he would never leave Steve just because of that. Right?

Steve waves an distracted goodbye to the Colonel and picks up his pace toward the meeting room where Danno's laugh is ringing out.

~*~*~

Steve doesn't realize that everyone knows it's safe to flirt with Danny because he's so obviously taken with - and taken by - his gorgeous partner.

Updated with a Johnny D section!

Title: The Emperor's New Crime Lord
Fandom: H50
Authors: elderwitty
Pairing: none
Characters: Toast, Johnny D
Rating: Gen
Words: 291
Warnings: none
Story Summary: Toast and Johnny D, together

Toast

Toast keeps the spreadsheets on which ticky-tack item was stolen from what overdecorated boast of a house, so that the next time Five-0 catches Johnny D (a sad inevitability, since the doofus can not ignore a text from Kono no matter what obviously fake stripper moniker she uses. That girl is his sextual siren. She's got his short and curlies in her magical digits. She's the flower and he's Ferdinand.

He can suspect it's her. He can be told it's her. Hell, Toast can pull up surveillance video of Kono typing with a wicked smirk ... doesn't mean D's gonna stop himself going panting to the meeting; hoping against hope that this time it'll actually be Amber [or Tif'fanny, Mysti, or Pheobe {naughty librarian stripper, don't ask}], so jazzed at a ride in his ground-effected lovemobile that they won't protest Toast coming along and bringing his lollipop- er, ... Wow, that batch was strong) they'll have some leverage to work on Danny and his crazy boyfriend.

(And what's with Danny calling him Mavis now?)


Johnny

Oh my god, Kono's sexting skills. Who wouldn't trail around after her with a cartoon-style tongue dragging the ground? She's got quite the imagination. (Also, Johnny D might think it's just about worth getting caught if she's the one who books him. She smells good in the car on the way back to headquarters.)

Re: Pheobe
See, Johhny D. grew up on the James Bond movies, and got his first stirrings when the secretary lady took off her glasses, let down her hair and shook it out, turning from a nerd into a beautiful bird.

He's been looking for one of his own ever since. And with a stage name like "Pheobe", what else could she be?

.

Title: The Dinner Date
Fandom: H50
Authors: squidgiepdx and elderwitty
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Words: 1,407
Warnings: fluffy fluff?
Story Summary: Danny and Steve have questions
Notes: Inspired by President Barack Obama's May 9th declaration that he supports marriage equality. Also, we gave Danny a middle name (that squidgiepdx is quite fond of).

( The Dinner Date )
Or The Dinner Date on A03

.

squidgiepdx wrote me a story for my birthday! I AM EXCITE!!

What Do You Call a Twelvesome?

Go and read it - it's funny and awesome. Just like him!

Here's the thing. I love words. I love to push them and pull; stroke, throw, and play with them - until they mean exactly what I need them to. So it really jars me out of the moment when I'm reading and the wrong word is used. I sort of tense up for the rest of the story, waiting for the next word-shaped shoe to drop.

These are the three I've see most often lately. I wish I could go, author by author, and gently teach people the difference between what they meant and what they wrote. I don't seem to have the gentle touch (in writing, anyway) needed, so all I can do is post my frustration here and hope for the best.


reign in =/= control. This comes from the horse riding world. Rein - you know, like those things on a bridle. (See also "give free rein".)


discrete =/= on the down low. This is the one that inspired the homonym list. I'd be very discreet in my tutelage, I promise. :grin:


albeit =/= although. It is close, even if not precisely the same. I think that someone who knew how to use it correctly did, and then a bunch of people took it to mean 'although', and used it themselves not realizing it was a shade of meaning off.


That's it for now. I feel better.

In leupagus's journal, theonlytwin mentioned a desire for a Toast and Johnny D spin-off and bromance. I hit reply to '+1', but this happened instead.

Title: The Emperor's New Crime Lord
Author: elderwitty
Fandom: H50
Pairing: none
Rating: PG for allusion to drug use
Words: 174
Summary: Toast and Johnny D, together

Toast keeps the spreadsheets on which ticky-tack item was stolen from what overdecorated boast of a house, so that the next time Five-0 catches Johnny D (a sad inevitability, since the doofus can not ignore a text from Kono no matter what obviously fake stripper moniker she uses. That girl is his sextual siren. She's got his short and curlies in her magical digits. She's the flower and he's Ferdinand.

He can suspect it's her. He can be told it's her. Hell, Toast can pull up surveillance video of Kono typing with a wicked smirk ... doesn't mean D's gonna stop himself going panting to the meeting; hoping against hope that this time it'll actually be Amber [or Tif'fanny, Mysti, or Pheobe {naughty librarian stripper, don't ask}], so jazzed at a ride in his ground-effected lovemobile that they won't protest Toast coming along and bringing his lollipop- er, ... Wow, that batch was strong) they'll have some leverage to work on Danny and his crazy boyfriend.

(And what's with Danny calling him Mavis now?)

.

I've posted some stuff on AOOO, so you can quench your desire to read it all up. :grin:

profile page

SGA, SPN, H50, Sports Night, Simon & Simon, The Dresden Files, and, of course, A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grand Jatte

Squidgie gave me the first four lines of a limerick.

I gave him a fifth ... and together we came up with 60 more.
(Please be aware that the last stanza is mean anti-McKeller. :grin: )


Atlantis Confidential

There once was a man named Rodney
Who John, more than once, ordered, “Off me!”
‘til one day they kissed
Which left John quite blissed
And led to adventures most bawdy

Matchmaker Teyla Emmagen,
After a hard day of trekkin’ and sloggin’
Sees the boys kiss in the Mess
And attributes success
To repeated sharp raps on John’s noggin

Former runner Ronon Dex
Knew the guys were having sex
Though they always tried to hide
He was ever eagle-eyed
And never missed the hickeys on their necks

There once was a major named Lorne
Whose hair was quite closely shorn
'pon seeing John kiss his scientist
Exclaimed, “That’s the way it is!”
Thus, romance with Parrish was born

Zelenka, the scientist Czech
Whose glasses were often a wreck
Once saw the two snogging
When they claimed to be jogging
He’s now eyeing a certain Gate tech

There once was a leader named Weir
Who knew she had nothing to fear
So while her military head
Took the CSO to bed
She waited for Bates to appear

While passing the ship’s cargo hold
Carter spied Rodney be bold
He didn’t suit her for a swain
So she was happy for his gain
And never after either asked or told.

The first time that Woolsey met Caldwell
He saw that the bald colonel sprawled well
They met many times after
With whiskey and laughter
It worked out that, together, they balled well.

Demo expert Cadman yearned for Beckett
Wanted nothing more than see him nekkid
So she took him to her room
And she made his pants go boom
Until that awful Sunday came to wreck it

Kate, the expedition shrink
Saw her patients on the brink
Their spirits all were fallin’
So she whipped up some sex pollen
And slipped it in the base’s favorite drink

Poor Doctor Jennifer Keller
No one was willing to tell her
Then, one night in the hall
“Oh, Rodney!!” she heard John call
At sex, it seems, the astrophysicist is stellar

So, Walter and I wrote some stuff together ... and for some reason I never posted it to my journal. I'm odd. Here's one now. 

( Rodney fidgets in his car, eyes darting between the gift certificate in his hand and the fluorescent lights of Pegasus Tattoo & Body Piercing Studio )