elderwitty: a close-up of the center, swirling petals of a deep pink tea rose (sga joe - you wanna)
TITLE: Cervantes Ranch
AUTHORS: [livejournal.com profile] squidgiepdx and [livejournal.com profile] elderwitty
FANDOM: Stargate Atlantis
PAIRINGS: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Evan Lorne/David Parrish
CHARACTERS: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex
RATING: PG
WORDS: 1,162 (this part)
WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Welcome to Wyoming.

NOTES:  This is a snippet of the ranch fic we're working on for [livejournal.com profile] artemis_prime.  It's in beta right now, but it appears that I'm slow as heck!  But since it's HER BIRTHDAY TODAY, she gets a preview!!!!  Happy Birthday, Kate!


John dismounts and ties Eula to the porch rail, checking the water level in the trough with a glance.  Despite his father’s misgivings about her utility as a working horse, he’s never regretted buying the palomino as a 30th birthday present to himself.  She’d felt so much like an old friend when he saw her at Lorne's Horse Farm that he bought her on the spot.

That same year, John's father gave him a Jeep.  Unlike Eula (and the ‘68 Firebird he's had since he turned 18), it’s eminently practical.  Where they were built for speed and flash, the Jeep has been used as a sturdy runabout, and looks it.  The curling floor mats, ripped upholstery, and massive dent from an angry steer stand as evidence of John’s many hours pitching in on the ranch.  Not that the property needs him to survive, as his father often points out.  He runs nearly 9,000 head on 36,000 acres, and employs enough men to handle everything from feedings to a breech birth in an isolated pasture.  According to his father, John's only concern should be ‘taking all this over when I die’.

John wipes the sweat off his nape and onto his well-worn jeans as he climbs the single step.  Grabbing an apple from the weathered half-barrel in the corner, he flicks the stem into the yard before pulling his pocketknife to cut it roughly in half.  He gives Eula the bigger piece and takes a bite of his own.  Before he even finishes chewing it, she’s nudging his shoulder and whinnying.  He chuckles and hands over the rest, admitting that she's had him wrapped around her hoof from the start.

Taking off his gloves, John rubs the long stretch of Eula's face, then scratches along her jawline.  "Be back in a little bit, girl," he says, before grabbing a second apple.  Eula is crunching happily as he opens the screen and pushes the door open.

"Dad?"  There’s no answer.  He’s probably installed at his massive oak desk in his study, working on something for the Wyoming Beef Council.  He’s never held office in that organization, but he's definitely the power behind the throne.  Every president for the past thirty years has sought the elder Sheppard's advice – and followed it to a tee if they wanted to keep their exalted position.  It seems like everyone learned their lesson after Lee Cutler’s ouster following a ‘professional and philosophical disagreement’ with Patrick Sheppard over grazing rights.

John heads to the kitchen for a glass of water, and drinks it looking out the window facing the most remote section of the ranch.  He'd ridden out there again this morning, knowing full well his father wouldn't approve.  There's a huge steel-frame building that he's pretty sure is inside their property line, but he never recognizes any of the men coming and going.  They don't look like ranch hands, in any case.  The one time John brought it up, his father had cussed and demanded he mind his own business.

As he walks to the back of the house, John wonders what kind of mood his father is in.  The only sound besides the air conditioning whirring through the vents comes from his well-worn cowboy boots striking the hardwood floor.  He knocks, enters when commanded to, and nods at his father even though he's focusing on the monitor.  John spots a paper with the heading 'Clayton County Mineral Report'.  He raises an eyebrow, but schools his face to blandness when Patrick grabs it and shoves it in a drawer.  "What do you want?" he snaps.

Not reacting (John's on Day Two of attempting to beat their record for avoiding altercations.  Since he turned 30, the benchmark is five days), he aims a thumb over his shoulder.  "Finished helping the hands, and did this week's inseminations.  Figured I'd let you know I'm free, in case you wanted me for something.  Otherwise I'll-"

"Actually," Patrick interrupts, reaching for a buff envelope and dumping the contents on the desk.  "The Woolsey place that sold last month?" he says, sneering at the name.  The two men had loathed each other, particularly Patrick after Woolsey refused to sell to him.  "New owner supposed to be moving in today.  And it's a woman."

"A woman?  Awesome."  John expects she'll liven things up.  Clayton County has been an old boys club for far too long.

"The hell it's awesome," Patrick spits.  "Ain't no way a woman can run a ranch.  They belong in the kitchen, not out workin' the prairie.  She'll probably do something cockamamie like raise sheep or hogs, too."

"Didn't old man Pemberton raise sheep back in the '70s?" John asks innocently.  Wyoming grazing, while capable of supporting just about any herbivore, has traditionally been used for cattle.  Patrick Sheppard and the Wyoming Beef Council decided long ago that this corner of the state was meant for beef, and only beef.  Anyone who's thought different has been convinced of that fact one way or another.

Patrick scowls.  "Asshole."  John isn't sure if it's aimed at him or the long-dead rancher.  "This here's beef country, boy.  And always will be, while I've got breath in my body."

"Yes, sir," John responds, in the flat tone that never failed to infuriate his superior officers in the Air Force.  Joining the military was yet another thing his father didn't approve of, but at least John had gotten to fly in return for putting up with those in command.  The ranch has a couple of small planes for land surveys and other duties, but John rarely gets to go up in them.

John turns to leave.  "Okay, well.  I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna head over to the Woolsey place and find out what that woman thinks she's doing.  And then you're gonna tell her to get the hell out."

John resists rolling his eyes.  If a woman bought the old Woolsey homestead, he has as much power to make her move as he does to stop a blizzard.  But what he can do is turn on the charm and dig up some information.  John being gay - yet another source of strife between him and his father - doesn't enter into it.  He's found that if he dresses in a certain way (black shirt, fitted jeans, and boots, topped off with leather chaps and a cowboy hat) and flashes his best smile, he can usually get damn near anything he wants.  (A notable exception was the time he heard about a newcomer who was, like him, ex-Air Force and gay.  John put on his best outfit to go say hello, and was nearly run off by a tall, lanky egghead who'd turned out to be Lorne's partner.  Luckily, Dave was willing to let bygones go on by, and John's been a frequent visitor out at their place ever since.)

"So what's this woman's name?"

Patrick Sheppard scans the letter before snarling, "Meredith R. McKay."

"She sounds homely," John says.



(Feel free to bug me about why it's not done yet.  Anything that helps overcome my native sloth is welcome.)
elderwitty: a close-up of the center, swirling petals of a deep pink tea rose (h50 alex tee)
[livejournal.com profile] squidgiepdx wrote: YES!!! We need to write more slashy crossovers. Can you imagine a VERY jealous McGarrett when Danno starts flirting with Lorne? ::grin::

and then this happened.



Title: Keeping a Hand In
Fandom: H50 & a smidge of SGA
Author: elderwitty
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: G
Words: 464
Warnings: none
Story Summary: Danny flirts


Steve tries to convince himself there's no need to worry, that Danno is just an inveterate flirt. He flirts like he rants - early and often.

He flirts with Sue, the waitress at their usual breakfast diner. She thinks he's adorable and always brings him a free pomegranate juice smoothie. He unrepentantly smirks at Steve while he slurps the last few drops as loudly as any eight-year-old.

He flirts with Caroline, single mother of Aiden, in the dropoff lane at Sacred Hearts. Now Aiden and Grace have playdates after school when Danny's held up at Five-O.

He flirts with the produce guy at Steve's favorite organic market. He flirts with the fishmonger and the cheese guy. He caps it off by flirting with the couple in front of them in the checkout line. He manages to get them both laughing and looking at him winsomely through their eyelashes. Steve doesn't get how he can flirt with both halves of a couple and not have it end in a jealousy-fueled free-for-all. He starting to think it's a sort of superpower. Or maybe hypnosis.

He flirts with Jake, the butcher at the farmers market who sells 'the only pastrami outside New Jersey worth eating'. (Steve still hasn't determined why a butcher is selling pastrami, but he doesn't want to mess with Danny's chi, so he hasn't asked. Yet.) Jake seems to get more enjoyment from watching Danny scarf down his humungous sandwiches than the flirting, but you can't be too careful. Steve's keeping an eye on him.

He flirts with Mama Koo at Liliha Bakery in hopes of convincing her to add Boston Creme coco puffs to the menu. No joy so far, but she laughs and pinches his cheek like a chubby toddler every time he tries ... and a happy baker is always a good thing, especially if you love malasadas like Danno does.

He once flirted with Damon over in Payroll, or tried to. Damon is so cynical about humanity in general, and cops in particular, that he thought Danny was trying to get him to leave some deductions off or something. (Danny still hasn't figured out why he got the cold fish-eye on that one.)

So, yeah - this Lorne guy is good-looking. Okay, it is exciting that he apparently works in outer space. And while it is true that the nearly-permanent crick in Danny's neck might fade away if he traded down to this shorter military model - he would never leave Steve just because of that. Right?

Steve waves an distracted goodbye to the Colonel and picks up his pace toward the meeting room where Danno's laugh is ringing out.

~*~*~

Steve doesn't realize that everyone knows it's safe to flirt with Danny because he's so obviously taken with - and taken by - his gorgeous partner.
elderwitty: a close-up of the center, swirling petals of a deep pink tea rose (sga joe - behind the scenes)
Okay, brain twin,


Here are some h/c I think you'll enjoy, arranged by category. Gen or McShep as marked. Shep!whump or team!whump, also as marked. I figure there's no reason for either of us to be productive. :grin:


General: An Infirmary Christmas by wildcat88. 13,650 words. Gen, team.

AU: Near the Earth, to Touch by sheafrotherdon. 17,645. McShep, John.

Episode tag: Revised Diagnosis by alipeeps. 5,000. Gen, Sheppard.

Post Trinity: That Which is Broken by friendshipper. 60,000. Gen, Sheppard.

Alternate reality: Last Man Reshuffle by pir8fancier. 20,489. McShep, John.
--Bonus!! comment companion

Romantic: Your Inevitable Unhappy Ending by helenish. 14,301. McShep, John.

Familial: Brother's Keeper by titan5. 3.650. Gen, John.

Chemical: Advantage by resonant. 14,900. McShep, Sheppard.

ATA-related: The Color of Stone by friendshipper. 9,400. Gen, team.

In the city: Breathe by friendshipper. 12,500. Gen, John & Rodney.

On the planet: Only the Journey Matters by ga_unicorn. 7,500. Gen, Sheppard & OC.

At the SGC: Accident Prone by ladyra. 7,200. McShep, Sheppard.

Aquatic: Wide Open Ocean by setissma. 10,558. McShep, John.

Aerial: Zorro's Legacy by shepsreyna. 26,023. Gen, John.

Subterranean: A Candle in the Dark by friendshipper. 26,000. Gen, Sheppard.

Astral: A World of Hurt: Oxygen by alipeeps. 6,023. Gen, Sheppard.

Transformative: The Average Cat Does Not Do Long Division by beadattitude. 3,539. Gen (this installment), John, Teyla, Ronon, & Carson. :D

Psychological: Mea Culpa by kristen999. 12,000. Gen, team.

Biological: Grow up to Be Your Ruin by alipeeps. 10,000. Gen, Sheppard.

Historical: Something to Remember You By by hestia_lacey. 17,314. McShep, Sheppard.

Hysterical: Should've Been My Girlfriend by crysothemis. 36,000. McShep, John.

Winter: Eventual Thaw by zinnith. 5,300. McShep, Sheppard.

Spring: Where You Want to Be by semivowel. 13,000. McShep, Sheppard.

Summer: Water, Sweat, Scotch by liketheriver. 18,400. McShep, John & Rodney.

Fall: Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes by quiet_december. 1,800. Gen, Sheppard.

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