Okay, don't freak out

[elderwitty]

So, I'm going to have a hysterectomy.

I wasn't using my uterus for its specified purpose (and underlined that with an endometrial ablation seven or so years ago), so it apparently decided to grow a baseball. Yes, I have a baseball sized mass. Benign? Malignant? Won't know 'til it comes out. It's so big that the doctor said, "How did you not feel that?" My actual response, "I thought I was just getting fatter," wasn't quite what I was feeling, which was, "I don't actually palpate myself that often." And I almost never lie on my stomach, which would have been a dead giveaway.

Here's the best bit. She says it's been growing for about a year, and that it should have been palpable to my gyno last August/September, the most recent visit as noted on my history sheet. Only not so much, because when I called their office today to find out when my appointment is scheduled for this year, as I have misplaced my reminder card (which sits on the popcorn canister on the kitchen counter), they informed me that I don't have one. More than that, I was a No-show for the one in September 2010. It seems that I lost the card longer ago than I thought. This is what having no sense of long-term time does for a person. Grrr!

Of course, that was the first time I've ever missed a doctor's appointment, of any type, in my life. And that is the only doctor's office that doesn't have either a human or robot call or email to remind you of your approaching appointment. And what's with not calling me to upbraid me for missing it? I'm not blaming them - it's all on my lack of time sense and shoddy card retention skills - but isn't it funny that the one appointment I miss is the one that's going to have the most serious consequences. This is how life has worked my whole life - with the tiniest things getting together to tackle. Any one thing doesn't happen = the whole unhappy occurence is avoided.

If you've got any benignity vibes hanging around, please send them along. And if they know any laprascopic vibes, please tell them to come, too.

Comments

[sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com]

Hurray for getting it out! ♥ Sometimes, I swear to god, the uterus is more trouble than it's worth. A close friend just had hers removed laproscopically last week, and she also had a mass (melon-sized) in there, and it had tipped back and was crushing her intestine. Good times. She is fantastically happy to have it gone, after all the pain it's been causing her, and we've been talking (among our local circle of friends) that it's high time we had some sort of ritual marking of happily surrendering our uterii, because sometimes that's a great, great gift.

You'll be in my thoughts, sweets! ♥

uterii

[elderwitty]

Amen, sister! I think the whole process is crazy, evolutionarily speaking. Why have half your tribe fertile year-round? Some of them are bound to pop out mouths to feed in lean and hungry winter. On a more personal note: As one who never wanted kids, why should I have to change the oil if I'm never gonna drive the car? :grin:

She had a melon-sized removed laproscopically? Wow, that gives me good thoughts. I couldn't figure out how they would get a baseball through a straw(ish). I know it's not solid, but still. Thanks for the info on that front, especially.

it's high time we had some sort of ritual marking of happily surrendering our uterii

I'm planning on a six-week festival of porn reading and beta duty, along with finally getting all my photos labelled, and installing songs on my MP4 and pix on my 2009 birthday gift digital photo frame (technology is hard, yo [and online porn is distracting]). Would it be uterii? Uteruses? Uteropodes?

Thanks, hon. I appreciate it greatly.

(See Steve avert his face from talk of feelings and womenparts. :p )